Turn away now if you uncomfortable reading about breastfeeding.
We have been having some issues with Connor’s feeding. He isn’t wanting to open his mouth wide enough to get a good latch, and when his mouth does get open wide enough, his head is going side to side so fast I can’t push him on the nipple, even when I’m holding him.
Then, when he does get latched, he SQUIRMS. He is so squirmy while feeding, especially during the evening, and his final night/early morning feeding. This is particularly frustrating because sometimes he’ll jerk his head back so fast he’ll break latch and that hurts! Other times it feels like he is bearing down to poo, and that also hurts!
This morning he didn’t latch properly so many times I had to re-latch him at least five times, then he finally got latched and he squirmed and bucked and broke latch. I finally just said “That’s it, you are going to daddy” and I dissolved in tears before falling asleep.
Not to mention the many many short feedings. He used to eat for 20, maybe 25 minutes, then not eat again for two or three hours. Now? He’ll eat for maybe 10 minutes, stop, then want to eat again 20 minutes later. This can go on for hours!
Needless to say, the whole household is getting quite frustrated. Any help or suggestions or articles online or books that anyone might have to recommend are absolutely welcome!
~Jaci
Have you been to kellymom.com? you may get some good info there.
Is there a chance that he’s overly gassy or having reflux issues? My first thought is that maybe a change in position would help- has he been nursing lying down? you could try the football hold. Or maybe a more upright position.
Have you tried putting him in the wrap and nursing? A nice tight wrap may keep him from shaking his head…
I hope that’s helpful. For what it is worth there have been several times in my 18months of nursing that I’ve handed the nursling off to Dad and cried. It’s a hard thing to do and you’re doing great!
I was just checking back to see if you had gotten any other advice and I reread your post.
I bet Connor is having a growth spurt! He’s getting bigger (and more efficient at nursing) so he gets more milk in a shorter time. But since he’s growing so much he needs milk more often.
I remember there being days that the babe and I lay in bed or on the couch for most of the day just sleeping and nursing. She ate when she wanted and I was less concerned about the timing of it all.
It won’t last forever, if you have the ability to tuck in with him for a day you may feel better.
I was just going to post the same thing - the frequent short feeds are probably a growth spurt. And I have read many times that as babies grow, their feedings get shorter because they get so much more efficient at it - what used to take 20 minutes may only take 8. So maybe he’s eating as much at each feed, even though it’s shorter, and he’s doing it more often as a result of the growth spurt, which will return to a three-hour cycle shortly.
Other than that, I don’t have much help or advice … as you know, breastfeeding was something we struggled with for two months before my “chronically low milk supply” and Michael’s slightly wonky jaw shape was diagnosed properly … there were many feeds that I cried through wondering what I was doing wrong.
Though I’m 100 per cent for feeding-on-demand, I wonder if you put him off a bit the next time he was hungry - say, just for 10 minutes even - if he might be so hungry that he’d focus on what he was doing and the head turning wouldn’t be such an issue??
You might also want to contact your local health unit as they may have a lactation consultant that you could access … going to the doctor who specialized in breastfeeding issues was so valuable for us (even though the final result was that we couldn’t continue breastfeeding) … having that expertise was awesome.
My only final thought: I know very very very few people who were able to just magically begin breastfeeding on day 1 and go without any problems … yet we have this idea in our heads that it’s so natural that it will come as easy as can be. It’s just not true… I don’t care how many times I read it in a book, or hear it said … it IS hard for lots of women. Don’t feel bad, guilty, etc. … I was an emotional wreck over the breastfeeding situation, I felt like I was incapable of doing this one thing that is supposed to come so naturally between a mother and her baby … when I finally started to realize how many people were struggling with latching, cracked nipples, milk supply, etc. I realized “ok, I’m not a big old failure at being a mom” … I don’t know if that sort of thought process is going through your head, but if it is, try to relax and realize that no matter what, you are doing your darndest to do what’s best for Connor … when we went to formula, it took me a long time to not cry every time I made him a bottle, until I finally realized that I was doing the best I could to nurture and support my child given the issues and problems we had to face in our particular situation. When I let go of that guilt, my emotional state became a LOT better!
Anyway, I’m ranting … I wish I had some useful advice for the actual problem at hand …
Oh, I do have one piece of advice: time. A friend of mine had a problem breastfeeding her son because he didn’t open his mouth very wide either. But within a few weeks, his jaw had grown just that little bit extra and so his latch became better simply as a result of having that extra space! Maybe after this growth spurt, he’ll be able to open wider?